What is a bad day, anyway?

I had a bad day. I didn't want to share that factoid with you, because my posts are supposed to be uplifting, and thought provoking. Insightful. So, why would I ever want to share my bad day with you? Why would I want to bring you down?
I spoke these thoughts aloud to my sounding board and one of my dearest friends Chris. She heard my words, but seemed confused. "Why WOULDN'T you want to share this part of your life? It means you are human, just like us. It shows your own vulnerability. Your strength when you climb out of that place. Just remember to share the lesson you gained while sitting in that dark space too". She is absolutely right.

So I had a bad day. I realized that sometimes it's OK to sit in that dark space. It's OK to feel mad, sad, frustrated. It's OK because we ALL have those feelings. We all have many of the same life experiences. We are really never alone, even if we think we are. We can feel sorry for ourselves, and try to remember to pat ourselves on the back, give ourselves self love, and empathy. Wouldn't you hope that from a true friend? Let me ask you this: Are you your own friend? You should be. It adds value to who you really are. You become a brighter light in the midst of our communities.

Sometimes that dark space can become a dungeon though. Sometimes we can drown in our own misery.    But that is your walk. Your journey. You need to find the tools in your "tool box for the soul" to help you lift yourself out of that dark space.

The dark nights of the soul as I have learned to call them from wise women in my life, are the most teachable moments that we can ever offer ourselves. It leads to introspection and revelation, if we really take the time to sit with it and try to understand why you are in that dark night in the first place. There is a lesson in every single thing you experience.

I have been going through a lot these past few months. Just like everyone else, right? Some of it has been quite honestly superficial. Ego driven. I fully admit it. Some of it has been deep down soul hurt, heart hurt, mind expanding/blowing revelations. I could easily choose to close myself off to not feel it. To be numb, to stuff it down a little further in my heart and smile instead. My mom always told me to just keep smiling, because eventually my day would be a good one. Pretend long enough and it becomes true.
I have learned that it isn't who I am, to stuff my feelings. I simply can't. I have to analyze every little detail to understand the situation. I need closure. What I have learned from what my mom said though wasn't so much that she wanted me to stuff the feelings, but to live in the present moment as much as possible. To be the light for others and that eventually it will fill you up. To be a positive person and that it become true for you.
I'm trying, mom.
I have felt tearful recently... a knot in my throat. My husband is the very first man that I have met that doesn't ever tell me not to cry. He doesn't care if it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't try to fix my hurt. Crying is releasing, and healthy. It lets it all out. It's healing.
So I have cried. Not a lot, but enough to expel some of that hurt and frustration. I have asked for support. I have asked for laughter from others. It helps a little.
I have worked at finding the positive in every single thing that I have chosen to feel hurt in the last few months. I feel a little stronger. A little brighter. A little better.

So, I just wanted you to know that it's OK to have a bad day.

"There are two ways of spreading light ... To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it." ~ Edith Wharton ~

I am here to shine a light in your dark places. As you walk through your dark nights of the soul, always remember that I will leave a light on for you. Will you leave a light on for me?

Testing Faith

I wrote this a year ago, right before Easter. I found it fitting to put it out there again, on this blog. Enjoy! ...


 "Why is Jesus's death and Resurrection mixed with The Easter Bunny and Easter Egg hunts?" Asked my daughter with a confused and perplexed face.
Oh boy. Big questions.

So we launched into a history lesson. A controversial one at that. We talked about Paganism. We talked about Ostara; the pagan goddess of Spring and fertility. She goes many names, Ishtar, Oestar. We discussed how the Pagan's celebrated Spring for thousands of years before the start of Christianity, and why Spring SHOULD be celebrated. Life, rebirth, warmer weather, longer days... Yes. Something to celebrate.

We discussed how the egg and rabbit are both associated with fertility (Spring)... which led to an interesting discussion skirting around sex, but she got the general idea when I explained it. She did like the story of coloring the eggs, and how it has a special place in the Pagan Spring festival, associating the colors with the sunlight of Spring.

The difficult part in our conversation was when we talked about the transition of Pagan tradition morphing with Christianity, from what I learned, was through force. How The leaders of the Christian faith wanted the Pagan traditions to cease to exist, to quietly disappear.  I tried to explain the parallel of pagan spring rituals and and Jesus's Resurrection. It wasn't easy.

It opened the door wide open to my own religious upbringing, and my beliefs. Telling Julia the story of myself as a young child watching a live reenactment of Jesus being whipped, dragging his cross across several blocks in the town that we lived in and being tied up on it. Remembering his words crying out in the night as he *died*"Oh God! Why have you forsaken me?"

I became very emotional telling this story to my daughter. It was a pivotal moment in my life that shaped a part of me. Traumatizing, if you will. To see someone that I was brought up to love.... this beloved man, and to see him hurt and killed in a very violent way, whoa. I didn't understand it at the time.

As a grown woman, as a mother, I actually love Easter. What I love most about it is the celebration of Spring, of LIFE. Flowers, coloring eggs, egg hunts, family gatherings, FOOD, bunnies.. There's a lightness. Happiness. It's like a long awaited dawn after a long winter's night. I want my children to know what all the parts of Easter represent. Both the Pagan and the Christian ways. Because that's who I am. I am a blend of all faiths. I cannot be pigeon holed into one way.

Every answer that I gave her brought up another question from her. Her confusion about all the different faiths of the world, and why there are so many. Especially when we discussed all the different  Christian faiths; Baptist, Lutheran, Protestant, Catholicism, etc. So many why's. Not understanding.
It felt like her world expanded a little more... or maybe.. exploded. There is so much that she just realized she doesn't understand, and it was pretty confusing for her.

My final explanation about religion to her based on my belief, was that there is no wrong way to love God. That the underlying essence of every religion is Love. That all religions preach for a person to live your very best life. In the end we all learn the greatest lesson: Love is unconditional. No matter what you believe.

I know I didn't answer all her questions. Glenn teased me later that it was quite the Sunday Sermon. Hah.

I want my children to explore their world. To determine their own way of believing. To follow their own paths, their own hearts passion. To not judge others, and to remember they are a spark of a brilliant Light that floods us all.

Understanding is the first step

Lately, I have been in a very inward place. Contemplative. Perhaps a bit pensive. I have been trying to understand. There's a huge word. I'm not trying to conquer the world just yet,  but understand human behavior is a good place to start. Why people do the things they do. Why people say the things that they say. Trying to let go of judgement. To let go of ego. To just see the person as a reflection of me. This can be hard, because often I am my own worst critic.

So I am learning compassion for all people, including myself. This is a new concept. I usually have compassion for others, but having it for myself, is a whole new chapter evolving in my life. I kind of figure that if I can be more gentle with myself and others, then my little world might be a little bit brighter.

Am I delusional?

I don't condone bad behavior. I don't like it when people are hurtful, and hateful. But, if I can get down to the heart of WHY they are being hurtful or hateful, then.. at least for myself, I have a basic understanding, and I can deal with it, without my walls coming up, allowing myself to be as authentic as possible.

This is the beginning of a lovely relationship I am creating with myself, right? I don't know that I will always get along with my own concepts here, but I can try. Or else I might just have to break up with myself, and well... we can't have that, right?

This all goes along with my New Year's wish to make an effort of learning to let go. To let go and surrender. To surrender the what if's, the woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Dropping the past behind me so that I can hold onto the present. I finally noticed that after all these years of trying to live in the present moment, trying to live mindfully, that I have actually been hanging onto my past with a death grip. An angry, scornful,wishful death grip. It hasn't been working out for me so well. My inability to let go of the hurt from my past led to depression and anxiety, which led to medication. Which wasn't fun. So in order to deal with my own issues mindfully, I had to come full circle.

Since doing so, I have had a domino effect of "Aha!" moments. Realizations, curiosity, observation. It's become almost a game for me. It actually takes the personal out of the equation because I am looking at certain things in an analytical way. All of a sudden it's like someone opened all the blinds, opened the doors, and turned the lights on.
It's leading to forgiveness. Forgiveness of the things I have done, and for those who've hurt me in my past. And I AM learning to let go, because I finally am starting to have a basic understanding of why things in my life happened. Why people in my past behaved the way they did. Why people still behave the way they do. This is all to the good.

Understanding people, and letting go of the past, is making more room in my life for good things to come in. I see it as spring cleaning.

What are you doing to make more room for good things to come into YOUR life?

Name Change, Growing Pains

As you might have noticed, the name of this blog has changed from Dina Discovering Dinelle, to A Soulful Place. I have my reasons. It's an evolution, if you will. I will explain.
My name on my birth certificate is Dinelle. It's a "formal" name. It's my "grown up" name. I use it with legal papers. It's on my checks, my drivers license. It is one aspect of me. I have never been 100% comfortable with it. DOn't get me wrong, I like it. I think Dinelle is a beautiful name. But. I had just never gotten a chance to really know her. I was nicknamed Dina by my mom after her favorite movie star at the time "Dina Merril". It's a happy name. It's slang. It's laid back.
On the other hand, Dinelle is only used for serious reasons. Maybe that's why I don't go by it very often. She's too serious.
So when I initially named the blog Dina Discovering Dinelle, it was my way of trying to get to know that aspect of who I am. It was me trying to embrace all the different parts of me. It worked. And then I outgrew that vision. I don't need to discover Dinelle anymore. It's my name. It's a part of who I am. It's beautiful. But it doesn't change anything about me.
So I started thinking about what I wanted to express in this place. It's not a mommy blog. I have one of those. It's not a wedding blog... maybe a little, but not really. It's a place where I can be Soulful. Where I can express my soul feelings. Where I can share thoughts on a much deeper level than anywhere else. And so "A Soulful Place" came to my mind. I have mulled it over for exactly a month. It feels right.
The website address will change as well to SoulfulPlace.blogspot.com, so if you subscribe to my writing, please go back and adjust it accordingly. I will wait until Friday to make that change. :)

I will be featuring guest writers, interviews with inspirational people, books that touched my soul, Words of wisdom, and of course my soulful thoughts.
Thank you for walking with me on this journey. If you want to see anything on here in particular, please let me know.
Peace.
Dina

Free Wedding Ceremony Contest!

I love hearing the stories of how a person's path crosses another, and love blooms. I love the sweetness, the beauty, the sometime rawness. Sometimes love comes in unexpected ways, and that is beautiful. Because each couple, each story is unique.

I love hearing thoughts and opinions on what makes a marriage work. What love means. What it means to be in relationship with another soul.

I love hearing the wishes and goals. The trials and triumphs of relationships. It's a feel good feeling.

I love weddings. I love the art of ceremony. I love helping a couple create and design a ceremony that defines and expresses the relationship that they have built. Bringing two people together in sacred ceremony is probably the most awesome and fulfilling job I could ever hope to have besides being a mother. Nothing tops that. :) It's a blessing, and the most fun thing I have ever done. A natural high, if you will. I love it so much that if I didn't have to use money to survive, and eat and just be, I would totally do it for free. :)
Really though, It's been a fantastic career choice, and it's time to be in service back into the community.

So, in the act of paying it forward for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me, I want to offer a contest!

I want to hear your love story. I want to know why you believe you are marrying the right partner. I want to know what commitment /marriage means to you. What makes a marriage work? What does love mean to you? What does it mean to be in relationship?
Send in your story to me at Rev(dot)Dina(At) Soulfulcommitment(dot)com. I will post the stories with your permission, and then, We will open it up to the readers for a vote of the best story! The story with the most votes will win, so you might want to tell your friends and family to vote for you!

The contest runs through February 29th. The voting begins March 1st. The winners will be announced Sunday March 18th both at the Pittsburgh Bridal Show at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center, and here on the blog, and on my Facebook page.


Restrictions apply:
1. One couple will win 1 free wedding package, including a ceremony, rehearsal (if needed), all travel, and filing your license after your ceremony. 
2. Wedding must be in the Tri state area, including Pennsylvania, Ohio, and West Virginia.
3. Wedding day must be available on my calendar. (I am happy to share with you my availability, if you ask)
4. If Wedding is OUT of of the Tri-State area and you really want me there, we can negotiate. :)
5. Couple must not already be contracted with me for my services.


SO let's hear your story! I can't wait! 

Circling the wagons

I remember a long time ago I went through a "Soul's Purpose" journey meditation, and within the visual journey that I went through, I still remember clearly seeing me walk through a theater stage door, which opened to a serene tropical beach at deep sunset, with crowds of people who were happy, and clamoring to be touched by me. Reaching their arms striving to touch me. Each person that I touched at the center of their forehead, glowed at the very center of where I touched them. And when I touched them, they melted into a sigh of happiness. When I looked down at my own hands they were glowing, electrical. My entire being was glowing.

What did this mean?
I had no idea. What am I called to do?
I figured it out finally.

8 years later, it's really happening. Years of waiting, cultivating, growing. Years of being mentored, loved, and listened to, Searching, digging, watching for that wisdom within myself that flows through us all. I'm stepping into my fears. Big time. Scary.

Who am I to be able to inspire others to be their best self? Who am I to be called upon to mentor others to bring forth that inner beauty that resides in the deepest parts of us? Am I wise enough? Do I have what they need, what it takes? Will I fulfill that question, need, discovery, that these amazing souls have within them? Will I help? Cultivate? Inspire?

(shrugs)
I don't know. But what I do know is that it's been calling me for forever. That it drives me to be a better person, to find that tricky and beautiful balance. To stay off that pedestal, and keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, while at the same time reaching up to Heaven to bring down the magic, the dreams, the twinkling stars of hope that shoot through us all. That's what I want.

This picture that I paint for you, this ideal world,  I also know that this is the picture of a person who is standing at the edge of her power. 
A person (umm hello.. me!) who is both frightened and also, incredibly ready to step up, thrilled and so amazingly blessed.

I have started a Women's Wisdom class , a Soul's Journey, and it is filling with the most gorgeous and beautiful and brilliant and precious human beings and I want to be of service to them – real service, deep, meaningful down to the soul service.

The kind of service that creates a platform/foundation off of which they can jump/launch into their own full positive, blessed gorgeous-ity.


I am inspired by others in a way that many don't understand. SO many women out there who work so hard to bring forth the best that is within them, and others, just by touching lives. Speaking the wisdom that they know, that can be life changing to others. The incredible thing is that the people touched already know the wisdom, it's just that it sparks them at the moment the way it never did before.
It's already within you. Someone else just shows a flashlight into that darkness where you are protecting your own soul power, your own wisdom.

There are all these stories that are swirling around my head "I'm too young to hold that kind of power, that kind of wisdom." "I'm not spiritual enough". "I haven't been educated enough". "I'm not following what I'm preparing to teach".
I'm feeling like these stories are told to keep my ego in check, but I'm wondering if it is having the opposite effect, shadowing my purpose, hiding within, because it's so scary to put yourself out there into the light.

Nevertheless, I'm doing it. And I hold all these brilliant, beautiful women in the light. And it's going to be fun, and giggly, and lovely. And it's going to be hard, and messy, and bring stuff up, that maybe we don't want to see. And we are going to do it anyway. And we are going to shed that gorgeous light on ourselves and expose our beauty, and we are going to shine. Because I say so.


Inspired by Amy Oscar, who shares parts of herself, and says things so brilliantly and eloquently that I wish I could write/ say/share. Some of Her words are interwoven into my own.


The Class that I am facilitating is The Anam Cara Journey; A Soul-Book for Women Seeking a Deeper Connection to the Self, the Other & Community written by Kathleen McKern Verigin <----- She is awesome and amazing. 

My new Mantra.

Do I look stalkerish to you? ;)

I was blog stalking today. That is, I was enjoying one blogger who wrote about another blogger, so I clicked onto the next site, and 3 blogs later, 20 posts, and I am in love.
I love people who write with their soul. With passion. With heart.

Tonight I stumbled upon this post from I Can't Whistle. She was quoting from another website herself, but I couldn't reach the link she had. So. I am giving I Can't Whistle the credit until I figure it out.
Anyway. LOVE this, and I wanted to share. I think will be my new mantra for the time being.
Without further ado:

Color outside the lines~ 

Live a gutsy, self-aware life.

Ignite the spark in your soul and lay down the

tracks to the songs in your heart. 

Define your reason for being;

 go deep, soak up your essence,

then honor your authentic self.

Break the chains that bind you.

Free yourself from your self-imposed restrictions

and be courageous towards all that you dread.

Don’t let the fear of judgment quell your spirit.

Proudly flaunt your humanity,

with all its exquisite imperfections.

Experience the edge of life.

Make mistakes. Color outside the lines.

Go to the brim of what is familiar and jump off.

After all, a vibrant life is filled with stops,

starts and stumbles.

Participate in your dreams and have faith.

You are standing on the edge of bliss.

Do it. Do that next big thing.

Become your own hero. ©