Excavating our beauty-full selves.

They say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But what does that mean? If I didn't know better I might think that it's what other people think that define what's beautiful. But it's not. At least not in my interpretation anyway. To me it means that everyone defines beauty in their own way, and other people's opinions on YOUR beauty really doesn't matter.

I long for the day when women stop being critical of themselves. One can't get past point A if they are obsessing over how to take that first step to B. Women are beautiful. Truly. Look at her eyes. Look at her smile. Look at her hands. Look at her heart. What makes her tick? Does it matter, the shell that encases this lovely woman? She who is succulent, sexy, strong. If she isn't, then we need to lift her up and show her that she is until she herself believes it.

When I lived out in Washington I took an 18 month women's wisdom course from my dear mentor and friend Jayna Gieber. Every woman that attended was on a personal journey to know themselves. We reached down through our layers, through our hard places, to find ourselves, to love ourselves, and to be dedicated to make a conscious effort to bring about change in a positive way. I fell in love with each and every woman there, and they will always be my life long "Spirit Sisters".

Now that I live in Pennsylvania, I am meeting scores of women that tell me they need this sort of offering, and so far I have not been able to find anyone that is offering it. There's the old saying "If it's to be, it's up to me". So, I am going to offer to facilitate a woman's group. It won't be like Jayna's because authentically I can't duplicate it. But I want to create the same sense of belonging, the same end goal for a woman to truly know themselves  spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

I want to play, journal, sing, dance, learn from others, and create with others. I want to help women to peel back their own layers and know their beauty.
So that's what I am going to do. a 12 month dedication to ourselves. To other women. To create a circle of women, a sisterhood if you will.
If you are reading this and are from PGH, please consider it. I would like to start on the weekend of the Spring Equinox.
If this is something that you might be interested, please send me an email to Rev.Dina@soulfulcommitment.com and let me know. I will add you to a small group mailing list and send you the details.
Beauty is within all of us. We just have to wake up to see it.

 "I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us."~ Sarah Crewe from A Little Princess

"Life is a Gift"

Life can be scary, sometimes. We never know what's around the corner, and when things get tough, we often lose sight of what's important as we settle into survival mode to get through whatever adventure we are in. We stress, we cry, we fret... And we forget. We forget what's important. We forget to breathe, until someone reminds us to. We forget that when we are at a low in our life, when we are in our dark nights, and we can't even see the moon, we forget that life WILL get better.
Mother Teresa had it right.

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is a beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
~Mother Teresa ~Life Is A Gift




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Honoring intention

I read this wonderful article written by Sharon Salzberg this morning about The Power of Intention. I definitely recommend reading it. One of the most stand out paragraphs struck me, and I have probably read it 5 or 6 times today. I may even print it out. But I wanted to share it with you. She says :

"Often we can achieve an even better result (in honoring the role of intention) when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don't give up after a mistake, when something doesn't come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we're not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished. By prizing heartfulness above faultlessness, we may reap more from our effort because we're more likely to be changed by it. We learn and grow and are transformed not so much by what we do but by why and how we do it."

After I read this article, I decided to do a little research and see what kind of woman Ms. Salzberg is. I have to say, she is pretty wonderful. Wise, Spiritual, Mindful, and full of loving kindness.  She apparently was a big part of bringing and teaching the Asian meditation practices to The United States, and she is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation  Society in Massachusetts. 
Wow. Very cool.

Liberation

My music is on my husband's laptop which is with him every day at work. I haven't listened to in forever. Today I wanted.. no, needed to breathe, to center myself, to "chill out". So I grabbed his laptop to find something that might help.
I came across all of my spiritual music. I forgot what I had acquired over the years, and it was like a gift that I had inadvertently given myself.
I am sad that I haven't made more of an effort to listen to my collection, as I truly believe music sets the tone for centering, at least for me.   I think I found it all again as part of my "recalibration" process. As I scrolled through, this popped out at me:
 Om Namo Bhagavate 

It's a song sung by Deva Premal who is an amazing singer who sings sacred chants in Sanskrit, mantras that help to center you and bring you different aspects of whatever it is that you are seeking. This particular song is lovely. From Deva's website it means:

"O m N a m o B h a g a v a t e V a s u d e v a y a (L i b e r a t i on )
Salutations to the Indweller who is omnipresent, omnipotent, immortal and
divine.
 This mantra is called the G r e a t L i b e r a t i o n T w e l v e - S y l l a b l e M a n t r a.

 It frees our minds and spirits from negative patterns in this life. Regular and
consistent practice of this mantra gives us a complete spiritual freedom: it
frees us from the cycle of rebirth and helps us realize ourselves as a
manifestation of transcendent divinity.  It can also help bring in an advanced spiritual soul if chanted by the mother during pregnancy.
Vasudeva is the individual aspect of God that dwells inside of us."

It is exactly what I needed to listen to. It's perfect for this time in my life. But Italso reminded me of the Women's group I belonged to in Washington. This song was played, and I remember all the lovely women stood in a circle and felt the music, led by the teacher/mentor/minister, and we all sang along with her, eyes closed, holding hands, connecting to each other, to Spirit, to the Divine.
It is easily One of my favorite memories of my time in the group. I miss them.
Connection.

I'm feeling pulled, pushed and jostled around a bit right now. But not necessarily in a negative way. I actually feel myself "recalibrating". Finding that time that I didn't think I had to connect to myself, and to God. To think of my words, and how they affect those around me. To try to speak peacefully. To BE the peace in my home.

I will be honest. I have been grumpy a lot during this process. It's a tug of war in a way. I would love to ignore that which is in me to be better, to DO better. To live as the person I want so much to be. Authentic, Peaceful, Honest, Spiritual, and Joyful. It's so much easier to go with the flow, to ignore the goals, the dreams. But I can't. It's there, everywhere. I said YES to this walk, to this journey. Once you say yes, then life seems to take you by the hand and take you for the journey.
If you are a part of my life, I ask you to to help me hold myself accountable. To support me through this process. To not let me forget that which is in me. I need to remember that I am enough. Maybe I will swim up to the surface soon.
Thank you for listening.

Stone Ceremony

A recent wedding that I officiated (today) brought me something new to experiment with. I always love when the bride and groom share a new tradition, or something special that I can offer to future clients as a way to create a unique ceremony.
This time it was a stone ceremony. I didn't know what it was, what it would look like, and I had anxiety about making it perfect for the couple.
It turned out perfect anyway (You can say "I told you so").

6 people were chosen initially to write a blessing or a prayer/word representing what they wished for the couple on a stone to carry with them throughout their marriage. The maid of honor, Best man (who also happened to be the couple's brother and sister), and each parent of the couple. They each stepped forward, presented their word and stone to the couple, and through emotion, explained why they chose that word.
It was beautiful. We also invited each family present to write a word/blessing on a stone after the ceremony.
What a great way to create a visual foundation of the marriage. I explained that the stones are solid, that the blessings and support from their community strengthened it, but that stones together can easily shift and slide, so that it was up to the couple to create a balance when standing on the foundation.

It turned out lovely.

What would be your word/blessing on a stone for a marriage, and why?

Are you willing?

This morning I received this in my email from a wise woman Karen Salmansohn:


It struck me upside the head like a gentle kiss. It has been swirling around in my mind all day. I have heard it before, but today it tied in with my word "recalibrate" and took on a new perspective. It says to me that I need to let go, and begin again. It says in a gentle way "You have been trying too hard, dear One." It says that I must TRUST. so I say to you~ Say this quote out loud. Now, go to your mirror, change the "WE" to I, the "US" to ME and say it again. how did it feel? Did it resonate with you?
What does it feel like to you?

Today, as I was driving an hour to a wedding rehearsal that I was really having anxiety over, I popped in Jennifer Berezan's CD "Returning." it's calming. It's healing. It reaches down and touches your heart. With the music playing, I sang as loud as I could. " Returning, returning, returning to the Mother of us all..." I centered myself, and tried to be open to my anxiety. Why was I feeling angst with something I absolutely find joy over? I was afraid of judgement of others. I was afraid that they weren't going to like my ceremony. And most importantly, I was afraid of the unknown. Not knowing how this was going to look like, because I was stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something I had never done before. ( a stone ceremony.)

However, I promised that I would open myself to whatever was supposed to occur, and be OK with the possibilities of what it would look like.

When i walked in they were happy to see me. They liked me. They loved my ceremony. I walked out wondering what the heck my problem was. Why did fear step in and cloud my joy? Why did i allow anxiety to take up all the confidence, and push it aside? I have a theory. I am a perfectionist, and because I didn't know how part of the ceremony was going to look like, and I don't like not being prepared. I guess I need to work on that.

I need to stop planning my life down to every moment. I need to allow for the unknown. I need to let life happen. Because that's where the unexpected joy finds us. That's where the surprises brighten our day.

So this New Year's Eve, as we get ready to begin again, I ask that you create space for yourself to let go of the life you have planned for yourself, and create space for the life that is waiting for you.

Blessings to all of you. May you find joy in the unexpected.
And so it is.

Reflections of a year gone by

This morning a word popped into my head. "Recalibrate". It shuffled in and out of my thoughts. I whispered it. I felt it on my tongue, in my voice. Recalibrate. What does that mean to me? Then it dawned on me. The WORD. You know, the word you choose to represent the life you want to live  for the year. Or is that just something that only I do?

Photo Courtesy of Montrose Colorado Grace Community Church

So I looked in the mirror. I looked into those blue eyes. I looked at the gray hair SCREAMING to be free of hair dye. I looked at the tiny fine lines around my eyes. I looked at my body; a mother's body. One that I have never been able to embrace, that I have never celebrated.  Do you know who I am? Do you know what I am about? Do you know what I represent? These are the questions I have been asking myself for the last month. Questions that have really left me confused, frustrated, fuzzy.
Because I don't even know. I am not in the same space that I was a few years ago. I am not living a life that I had promised myself I would, when I took vows 3 years ago in a sacred space with really amazing people.

But then again I can't be hard on myself. I am living an authentic life. Things have changed. They aren't the same. Life requires a different sort of energy for me to function these days.  I am a mother 4 times over. I spent this entire year learning how to adapt. How to make it work for myself. For my partner, for my children, and for our new baby. A lack of sleep, exhaustion, and no personal space at ALL left me little time to work on ME. I learned to take a small sliver of time, in the wee hours of the night while I was breastfeeding my little one to pray, or to connect to Spirit.

I worked hard this year at building my business. Officiating weddings. Funerals. Teaching classes. Reaching deeper inside myself to pull out strength that I never knew that I had. I dealt with catastrophe. I handled adversity.  I healed some relationships, and let go of others. I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that life is exactly what you make of it. That you can't keep woulda coulda shoulda-ing your life away. That living in the past doesn't make the future any brighter. That trying to foretell the future doesn't help the present to be beautiful. Of course these are all lessons that I thought I had already learned a long time ago. I guess I must of forgotten. How many times must one go through the same lessons?

After living in a very different life these past 3 years, It wasn't until THIS year that noticed how much I had taken a few steps away from the Spiritual aspect of me. Yet I was living and working under the title of a minister. I felt like a fraud. But am I?

No. The "title" is just one of many aspects of who I am. I have just been busy. I didn't create the space to "BE" spiritual. Except that is not true either. I did. In tiny hidden moments. The in breath and the out breath here and there. Singing to my baby the chants and songs I learned from amazing mother archetypes that have blessed my life.


As we near the end of the year every year, I always take the time to reflect on the life I have lived thus far. Did I make a difference? Was I kind to the Earth? Did I learn anything that helps to make me a better person? Did I do ANYTHING right with my kids?
This year, I can answer yes. I did. I can feel good about that.

My goal/objective for this new year is to live in integrity. With myself, with my family, and with those I choose to surround myself with. I choose to surround myself with people who HAVE integrity. Who want to make a difference. Who choose to be positive.

"Recalibrate". This word feels right to me.  It's time to recalibrate my life. I am not sure what that means, but I guess we will find out. May our lessons be gentle, and may this year 2011 bring us joy beyond measure. And so it is. Cheers!