Thursday, October 27, 2011

Circling the wagons

I remember a long time ago I went through a "Soul's Purpose" journey meditation, and within the visual journey that I went through, I still remember clearly seeing me walk through a theater stage door, which opened to a serene tropical beach at deep sunset, with crowds of people who were happy, and clamoring to be touched by me. Reaching their arms striving to touch me. Each person that I touched at the center of their forehead, glowed at the very center of where I touched them. And when I touched them, they melted into a sigh of happiness. When I looked down at my own hands they were glowing, electrical. My entire being was glowing.

What did this mean?
I had no idea. What am I called to do?
I figured it out finally.

8 years later, it's really happening. Years of waiting, cultivating, growing. Years of being mentored, loved, and listened to, Searching, digging, watching for that wisdom within myself that flows through us all. I'm stepping into my fears. Big time. Scary.

Who am I to be able to inspire others to be their best self? Who am I to be called upon to mentor others to bring forth that inner beauty that resides in the deepest parts of us? Am I wise enough? Do I have what they need, what it takes? Will I fulfill that question, need, discovery, that these amazing souls have within them? Will I help? Cultivate? Inspire?

I don't know. But what I do know is that it's been calling me for forever. That it drives me to be a better person, to find that tricky and beautiful balance. To stay off that pedestal, and keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, while at the same time reaching up to Heaven to bring down the magic, the dreams, the twinkling stars of hope that shoot through us all. That's what I want.

This picture that I paint for you, this ideal world,  I also know that this is the picture of a person who is standing at the edge of her power. 
A person (umm hello.. me!) who is both frightened and also, incredibly ready to step up, thrilled and so amazingly blessed.

I have started a Women's Wisdom class , a Soul's Journey, and it is filling with the most gorgeous and beautiful and brilliant and precious human beings and I want to be of service to them – real service, deep, meaningful down to the soul service.

The kind of service that creates a platform/foundation off of which they can jump/launch into their own full positive, blessed gorgeous-ity.

I am inspired by others in a way that many don't understand. SO many women out there who work so hard to bring forth the best that is within them, and others, just by touching lives. Speaking the wisdom that they know, that can be life changing to others. The incredible thing is that the people touched already know the wisdom, it's just that it sparks them at the moment the way it never did before.
It's already within you. Someone else just shows a flashlight into that darkness where you are protecting your own soul power, your own wisdom.

There are all these stories that are swirling around my head "I'm too young to hold that kind of power, that kind of wisdom." "I'm not spiritual enough". "I haven't been educated enough". "I'm not following what I'm preparing to teach".
I'm feeling like these stories are told to keep my ego in check, but I'm wondering if it is having the opposite effect, shadowing my purpose, hiding within, because it's so scary to put yourself out there into the light.

Nevertheless, I'm doing it. And I hold all these brilliant, beautiful women in the light. And it's going to be fun, and giggly, and lovely. And it's going to be hard, and messy, and bring stuff up, that maybe we don't want to see. And we are going to do it anyway. And we are going to shed that gorgeous light on ourselves and expose our beauty, and we are going to shine. Because I say so.

Inspired by Amy Oscar, who shares parts of herself, and says things so brilliantly and eloquently that I wish I could write/ say/share. Some of Her words are interwoven into my own.

The Class that I am facilitating is The Anam Cara Journey; A Soul-Book for Women Seeking a Deeper Connection to the Self, the Other & Community written by Kathleen McKern Verigin <----- She is awesome and amazing. 

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