Breakthrough

Shifting, moving, swaying with the music in my head. My thoughts have become contemplative, observational. I see the wheel in my mind turning, slowly... like a waterwheel on a paddle boat, scooping up thoughts, slowly bringing them full circle and then letting them go back into the depths of my own soul.

I wonder about myself sometimes. 

Flashback to a memory~ 

I was pulled to the east coast by playing a main character in a love story. I initially resisted it. The voice inside my head; the soul said I had to go. The power animals in my journey said I had to go. Channelers who knew nothing about me or my story told me I had to go. There was something out there that I had to do. To create, cultivate, bring to the surface. I was being called to be a facilitator for others, to help others to grow and flourish. I was called to let a beloved love me so passionately and fearlessly. I was called to walk a new life. A "do-over". 

So I dropped my stories of why I needed to stay in my rooted spot. I dropped my pretenses and my fears that I would fall flat on my face. It was a daring leap. 

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It took me a long time to find the courage to lead. To bring what I know to the surface, and be willing to share it with others. Initially I wasn't sure that there were others in this thickly religious part of the country that would be interested in what I had to offer. 

Years. It took me years to find the courage to shake off my fear, and step up on a box to turn my light on for others to witness and see. For others to be drawn to my light. 

Slowly they came. An evolving circle of likeminded women who are in various stages of their own spiritual journey. Some are farther ahead on the path than I, some are taking their first tentative steps. My job as a facilitator is to witness and support all these lovelies. To affirm the truth of who they are. 

Who knew how they would change my life? 

I learned that the more I give, the more I receive. These women teach me. I'm learning again, and my spiritual hunger to grow is back. I'm back in learning mode. 

In the past few months I have had so many "ahas!" and "whoas!" that it simply excites me to wake up every single day wondering what delicious new insight I might be blessed enough to receive. 

I have learned that life is moving far too fast to hang on to the unimportant, the trivial, the stories that hold me back. There is no time for that. 

Through dreaming, reading, listening, and sharing with my own pack of wild, soulful women... I feel absolutely alive, nurtured, and spiritually fed.  

I keep being reminded to not hold onto anything too tightly. That's when you get held back. When you stagnate. Dr. Carla Goddard said "You may believe you must hold on tightly, when truly you should be letting go. Seek out clarity and direction. Remember when you cling to something, it is only because you feel incomplete. You fear if you let go there will be pain. Yet when you open your palm, in that emptiness that remains, it is there that you will find the completion of yourself as one that you have been seeking."

I hear you Spirit. I am listening. May we all feel the gentle reminders to be present, to be open, and surrender the notion that we already know all the answers. May I be free to stay in the ebb and flow of the tide. May I continue to break through.  May I remember that I AM enough. May you remember, too. 

Aho.