Monday, September 14, 2009

A Bun in the Oven? Someday. 04-16-09


Who knew it could be a challenge to get pregnant? When I was in my 20's I could get pregnant just by THINKING about babies.

I had 3 babies in a 6 year period, each roughly 3 years apart. I was 21, 24, and 27, with each delivery. The kidlings are now 8, 11, and 14.

For young women, BARELY a woman, having a baby is such a rite of passage into woman hood. It was so difficult for me in the beginning, and I am sure it is the same for every woman out there who has gone through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy. I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted with the first baby, I created sweet little nurseries, each time, I pored over books (each time! As if I hadn't already experienced it all) to see what I needed to be aware of in every moment of motherhood.

Each child tried to come early, and I was put to bed rest, which became increasingly impossible with chasing after little ones. We all made it, and survived, and they are healthy, beautiful (at least I think so!)

Now in a second but beautiful marriage and partnership, we have decided to try for 1 last baby. We are both 35 and ready to this next step in our life's journey together.

I never had to TRY before. It just happened. Even when I didn't want it to. I figured I was a "fertile myrtle". I always felt bad for other women who longed so desperately for a child, and then how they would be so devastated when each month, their period would come, crushing their hopes for another month. After a while it become draining.

So we have been trying. And trying. And trying. I am starting to understand how those "other women" felt. I feel like a traitor on one level. I already have 3 babies. I am so blessed. I should keep that in the back of my mind. But my body is playing tricks on me. I keep thinking "This HAS to be it!", Only to be disappointed each month when it doesn't happen.
My forever optimist husband is so incredibly sweet, and encouraging. I have to remember that this affects him too. That it isn't just about me. As each month passes by, We both find that we want this more and more.
When we finally do get pregnant, It will be the biggest cause for a celebration. For us.

1 comment:

  1. Madame Dotty said...

    Wonderful blog, Dina! Three kids at different stages of growth and self-discovery.

    Even though I can see how challenging it must be for you, it must also be a learning experience. Somehow by teaching our kids to become good/better people, we are forced to become better people ourselves, if you know what I mean. We have to search our souls for the best way of teaching values that will not only prevent them from hurting others but stop them from hitting that wall themselves. :) -- C xx --
    April 19, 2009 6:45 PM
    Madame Dotty said...

    Good luck! (You can do it. Just be patient!!!) :)
    April 19, 2009 6:46 PM
    Dina said...

    Thanks, C.! Your right, We are always learning in the parenting world. No two children are really the same, and that is so evident in my family. Yet, at the same time, there is that common thread of development that we can identify, and say, Oh yeah! I have been here before. Its just learning how to deal with it. Remembering what it was like when I was each of their ages is so helpful.

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