He was so nervous that day. Desperate to go to the top of the world where the wind whistled, the birds caught air in their wings, and soared in lazy spirals, where everything below looked like ants. It was a cloudy day, that day. It was a chilly April Morning, and he landed at the airport with a nervous hug, the unknown in his eyes, and one question:"Can we go to Crown Point, right now?" So we went. I chatterboxed the whole way, and he was uncharacteristically quiet.
We got to the top of the mountain, and just as we got out of my car, he couldn't stand it anymore. He looked at me, and said pragmatically, "we love each other, and I would be so happy if you would marry me and be my wife." Just like that, the words spilled out of his mouth stumbling after each other, all around my ears, and my heart stopped. I knew he was going to ask me. He opened the little box that beheld a beautiful ring glittering even in the cloudy day for me to see. To wear, to belong to him, to say yes.
I panicked. I turned away from him. I knew he was going to ask me. I knew I belonged with him. Words escaped me. I didn't know what to say. Here was this amazing man who had fallen in love with ME. He was ready to face the world with me by his side. To start a new life together with me holding his hand. To take care of me, to love me.
I had been down this path before. Not out of love, per say, but because at the time it was what I thought was the "right thing to do". I did it for 13 years. It was a heart breaking marriage. Some good times, but hard, young, struggling, child rearing, house payment making times. It was a reality. I had failed. We had failed. Could I do this again? Could I knowingly take this man who I respected and adored down this road, knowing what I knew? My thoughts tumbled before me. I couldn't speak. How could I go down this road again? So soon??
He was waiting, the clock ticking silently, 30 seconds, a minute. two minutes passed by. Silence. The wind blew, and he waited.
Wait a second, I thought. This is my chance for a second chance. A second chance to do it right. To start fresh, to respect and support, and treat this man with dignity, and love, and hope. He was what I had always wanted. I had manifested him into my reality, right? He was here, and he was ready,ready to take me into the folds of his life, along with my children, and I needed to be ready too. Our relationship was so special, and loving, and careful Yes careful. Careful to treat each other well, at all times. To speak to each other respectfully, to be honest. To trust each other. It had been a long road, and it just kept getting better and better.
I turned around and hugged him hard, and again he held me, not knowing what I was going to say. He was nervous from my prolonged silence. "Yes" I said. "I will marry you." He pulled the beautiful ring out of the box and smiled. He said "Its called Water Under The Bridge". I laughed. "Are you serious?? That's like something you say to someone you have been fighting with and are making up...This is what this ring stands for??"
He stumbled again, laughing. No!! NO!! I mean its "Bridge Over Water!!"
He wanted me to tell everyone. I wanted to be quiet. To take this all in. Because this was really happening. Cinderella had finally got her prince, and I wanted to savor it, and not share. It was all mine. I was standing on the top of the world,the world at my feet, ready to explore with this amazing man who wanted to explore it with me, and I, I wanted to be silent.
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