In our life time, We are given an opportunity to know ourselves. Not just at certain periods of our lives or through experiences that test the human condition, but in everyday moments. We are constantly changing.
"Change... We don't like it- we fear it. But we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow...Anybody that tells you otherwise is lying.
But here's the truth- the more things change, the more they stay the same. But...
Sometimes, change is good. Sometimes change is everything."
~ Merideth Grey
I have been in a place lately that has forced me to examine my self. My heart, my soul, my abilities, my attitude. I have a critical eye towards myself and probably no one could ever make me feel so low or so high, the way I can for myself.
I have been thinking about the Buddhist monks. They are in purposefully in a place of solitude. They choose this. They choose to grow their soul, instead of climb the corporate ladder. They choose to live inward, instead of wearing their lives on their sleeves. They choose Happiness in everyday moments, instead of feeling doom and gloom because everything might not go their way. They see everything as an opportunity for growth, instead of blaming other people for the choices that got us into certain lifestyles.
When we live in the society that we do, we often choose to surround ourselves with things that we think will make us happy. Beautiful objects, clothes, monetary things, and loved ones. We tend to be social butterflies. OK, so I shouldn't be including the general population, but some of us do, right?
I chose to surround myself with life. With friends, church, classes, music, books... Anything to keep me nurtured and feeling full of life. Monetary things really didn't appeal to me, because, frankly, I knew I couldn't afford it so I let the feeling of wanting anything material go. I kept all the busy-ness around me because, frankly, I didn't want to deal with myself, and my own inner demons.
For the last 4 months I have been in a totally new life. I have a beautiful house, a beautiful beloved, beautiful landscape, and my beautiful children.
But I was feeling lonely. Missing something.
Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely -- perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.
After talking with a well respected mentor and friend, she said something to me that made me literally stop in my tracks. When I told her about not meeting anyone out here in my new environment, and feeling lonely, she said "Ahhh! what a gift! You are doing your work! You are letting yourself sit in a juicy dark place, and have the opportunity to work with yourself!" She said Solitude is a beautiful time if you let it. If you can come to peace with who you are, and what your purpose is on this planet (to serve others) then you have been using this time wisely." She said "rest assured, this time of solitude will come to an end soon. You will have your life filled with friends, with church, and opportunities to keep you busier than you were before. The question is.. will you have learned something about yourself with the time that you were given by Spirit to examine?"
I have been mulling around the words that she said, and know that they were Divinely given. That it was a message from Spirit to know that all things happen for a reason. That this is a good time.. no... a WONDERFUL time to get to know who I am.
Solitude.
Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.
Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experiencing the beauty of nature. Thinking and creativity usually do too.
Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from a state of inner richness. It is a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings. that is satisfying and from which we draw sustenance. It is something we cultivate. Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to renew ourselves. In other words, it replenishes us.
Loneliness is harsh, punishment, a deficiency state, a state of discontent marked by a sense of estrangement, an awareness of excess aloneness.
Solitude is something you choose. Loneliness is imposed on you by others.
We all need periods of solitude, although temperamentally we probably differ in the amount of solitude we need. Some solitude is essential; It gives us time to explore and know ourselves. It is the necessary counterpoint to intimacy, what allows us to have a self worthy of sharing.Solitude gives us a chance to regain perspective. It renews us for the challenges of life. It allows us to get (back) into the position of driving our own lives, rather than having them run by schedules and demands from without.
Solitude restores body and mind.
Ahhhh. I am taking a deep restoring breath, and sharing with you where I am at. For the remainder of my Solitude, I am going to enjoy it. Enjoy and celebrate myself. Be gentle with myself. And most importantly, Love myself. This is MY time. :)
Thank you for listening.
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