What Side of the Tracks are you from? 02-17-09

My Hubby and I don't get a lot of quality time, as probably a majority of the couples and partners understand this feeling. Between work, kids, my school work, kids extra curricular activities, we are lucky to even sit side by side with each other for an hour or so a day.
So,to reconnect with each other we took the day off this past Friday. We ended up running errands and catching up on all that has fallen by the wayside at home. It wasn't EXACTLY how I would like to spend my day off, but it was better than working.

So while we were out, we had planned to look at some furniture, as there was a great sale, and we needed some desperately. We meandered through the store, trying out certain pieces, and having a good time together. We found exactly what we were looking for and decided to purchase. Financially we could afford it, and were comfortable with the price. Hubby and I were on a high, because it would feel good to finally put our living space together, and it was ours, not mine or his from a previous life.

As we headed back with our sales slip to the information desk, the woman handling our purchase asked for our address.
I want to share our conversation with her that ensued after we gave it to her:

Woman: Ah! You live in West View!
Us: Yes, we do! (smile)
Woman: What side of Highland do you live on?
Us: Excuse me?
Woman: Which side do you live? The poor side? Or the Other side?
Us: (Internally stunned, uncomfortable chuckling) We live on the LEFT side.
Woman: Oh, *Laughing* You live on the POOR side.
Us: (Refusing to look at each other for fear we would give away that we were appalled) Ah... Uh.. Yeah... I Guess you could say we live on that side......

The woman thought nothing of it, probably thinking it was an ice breaker of conversation, and making light of the area where we live. She apparently lives there too.

I was offended. However, hubby and I made jokes to each other for the remainder of the day, about living on the poor side.

Truth is, We do live on the side where the houses are older (100 yrs+). Where the yards aren't as manicured. Where children flood the streets on the weekend. Where almost every single neighbor makes an effort to be kind, and helpful. Where on Halloween and Christmas everyone goes crazy with decorating contests, and they all sit outside together on Halloween to watch the children in their costumes trick or treat.
Who wouldn't want to live on the poor side?
What constitutes being poor? We make just as much money as the people on the OTHER side of Highland. Our house was more affordable, yes. Its a home to raise a family.
It reminds me of people that think that you should live within your "station". My boss gave me a ride home one day, and suggested that My family and I move to a newer, nicer plan. "You can do better than that."

Pat Mestern interviewed an 103 year old woman; Marie about what being Poor means. This is what Marie said :

"Being poor is the ultimate opportunity handed a person. Being poor is no excuse for being filthy and uneducated. You have access to the same libraries, soap and water and schools that others do. Being poor is no excuse for living in a dirty house and wearing dirty clothes. Being poor is no excuse for living surrounded by clutter and garbage. Being poor means that, if you can't presently afford university/college, you can educate yourself until such times as that goal is within your reach.

Being poor means being surrounded by necessities. Being rich means being surrounded by "things". Being rich you can buy perceived happiness. Being poor you make happiness happen. Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouths and some have to go looking for it. They end up better people for chasing after that silver spoon, because they've had to learn valuable lessons along the way. Sometimes they turn that silver spoon into one of solid gold. Being poor means you start at the bottom and work your way up. Being rich means you start at the top and slide your way down. It's harder to work your way up, but the trip is worth the effort. You'll never forget what you learned along the way. You rarely slide your way down again. Being poor means you have to give back to life, you have something to look up to, something to achieve. Being rich means you are always looking down. For some being rich means that rather than earn achievements, you try to buy them. Stop saying I'm poor, poor, poor. Pretty soon you'll begin to believe it. Start saying I am at a temporary financial disadvantage right now. I can do something about it (Mestern, 2009)."

What I learned over the years is that the statement "Poor" is a state of mind. You can say "I'm broke", or like Marie said "Financial disadvantage". "Poor" to me means poverty. My family and I are none of these. In fact, we live very comfortably. We wouldn't be shopping for furniture if we were poor. Half of the people that live in my neighborhood are far from this criteria as well.

Marie goes on to say :

"If you don't like the word poor, just substitute that fancy new term "financially challenged". Keeping up with the Jones's is a game you cannot ever win. Never spend more than you make. Save a bit from everything you make - one penny today, two tomorrow. Tuck the money away and forget you ever saw it come into the house. My children went to university on money we tucked away, and good hard work on their part to make it happen. They never heard us say "we're poor" - "we can't do it". We said that it might take awhile, but if that is what you truly want, it is achievable (Mestern, 2009)".

Very wise words to live by. So, we might live on the Poor side, but we are incredibly wealthy in all the ways that truly matter. Love, family, and togetherness.

Reference:
Mestern, P (2009) North of the border, Am I poor? Retrieved from the Dollar Stretcher February 17, 2009 from http://www.stretcher.com/stories/990719m.cfm